The Dilemma

I'll be filling up my boat, but still praying I never sink.

khayaban-e-safar asked: (Read in thick Arabic accent for most accurate results) Khallo Rafiq, do know vhat is kapitaal of Asheqistan? Ana wa inta. حاحاحاحاحا thet gat me ever time. But truth talking habibi yu ar more of the beauty of teh lail. You are teh Majnoon that haz the came doown far mee. I never trip ovar my burqah, I felled far yew. Now I veel alvays ana hbik yew, just paleeze don't run fram me like yew did befor. I sarched all acros the Arabia far yew, yu are miye little drop of oil yu arr. Lave, Jamilah.

Damn. That sh*t is most definitely kray.

khayaban-e-safar asked: (Read in Jamaican accent for best results) Raaa mon, yo de tink me gwan round and ask deh qwashun but ya dono meh. I ja won sey hail up to you. You da seem ill guyee. Ya kno? Wunnadem weed guyees. Ya kno? I be sickadem feds, dem idiats, raht heads. But daant yaworray. My mmigration right mon. Imma comma to da UK, we da smoke deh Mary J. Whatchyadink boutdis? So what big up mon? I be famous in da Kingston, you gwan comonova heey. Imma give you da free shit, get aladem ladeiz. /watch?v=lchaAtrwkE4

What is this madness?? You crazy muthaphucka

khayaban-e-safar asked: (Read in Scottish accent for best results) Nay laddy, ye are naive of the truth. How could an Scottish sailor, such as meh, have heard ye voice if me live across the ocean in the Canadas? Think bettar me lad. I come from all over this grand planet that ye call howme. I have lived with the Aztecs of Mexico and battled di Brits in India. I think ye start travelin laddy, it get ye miynd of the depression that ye fayce. My next ask will be in a Jamaican accent. Ready yourself! Hark hark!

No words … ermm … well this question has left me in a state of disarray. I do not know if this is a question or a soliloquy but I await your next one in great anticipation. 


P.s. I read this in the requested accent 

Anonymous asked: Who is your favourite follower on twitter? 😃

Who are you?! And why are you putting me under pressure?! Lol probably some of my mate’s accounts - just cause I know them and their banterous ways. Did u want specifics?!

Anonymous asked: If you culd be an item of food, what would you be?

This is playing on my emotions right now. The first things that came into my head were cereal and ice cream lool

khayaban-e-safar asked: Hiiiiii. Your blog is a stupendous piece of work Sir. Jolly ho. Do you fancy my want-to-be British speech? :) he he he

Hello Madam. Thank you! I use this to procrastinate instead of revise lol. Haha I’m guessing u heard my “white man” voice somewhere eh?! Who are you and where did you come from dear child?!?!?

madeingotham asked: Im the only one giving you hate so no, you're not getting famous

Raaas, you’re deep.